Where's My Box of Wine?

I apologize if you caught me red handed being that mom who couldn't control her child at the mall today. I'll let you in on a secret...come closer...no mom ever really has control over their child. Phew. There I got that off my chest. But seriously, today was like a page from "How To Survive Parenting" and I was about to implode. 

It started mostly in Gymboree. I think I'm going to start avoiding that store because really I've never had good moments there. The last bad moment was when she tripped and fell on their concrete floor and loosened her front teeth at the age of three. 

Today I could have smacked the overly helpful saleswoman. Nice as can be, mind you, but she kept pulling beautiful, great priced accessories out that matched the clothes we were trying on Abby. Abby ran up to show Heather and Aunt Laura her shirt when the woman at the counter told her, and I quote "This would go great with your outfit." Now, I don't know what that means to the saleswoman but to a five year old it means "That lady just gave me something to keep! For FREE!"

She ran back to me excited at the prospect of a beautiful, sparkly necklace to take home. So, you can imagine her pain when I told her, in no uncertain terms, we were not buying the trinket. She ran off to the other side of the store, shoe-less mind you, and "hid" in the front display window. Screaming "NOOOO!" every single time I told her to come out and put her shoes on. I had to come inside the window display and drag her out kicking and screaming. Got the shoes on. Bought the clothes. Tried not to shoot dirty looks as the sales clerk tried to up-sell some more. 

We left the store where Abby promptly turned to run to the play area. Absolutely not. It's a matter of principle that a child who threw a hissy fit does not get to play in the mall play area. It's an unwritten rule right? My daughter does not like rules. Well, heck, what child (or adult) does?

She had another melt down. So, we sat on a bench. Or, rather, I sat on a bench and she kept making herself slide off it. It was like her bottom had feet or something. I tried to hold her there until she calmed down. I stood up and held her wrist as we walked. She kept wiggling and trying to get free. Because of this, I had to carry this child - this big five year old girl, through the mall. We stopped at another bench where she promptly ran off to stand by a tree. I took her wrist again and immediately began making my way out of the mall. More crying and twisting away from me so she got one swat on the bottom. We walked out and she got free. I was worried about her running into the parking lot but Aunt Laura got her hand and walked with her, in tears, to the car. 

Can I just tell you...Mommy almost had a nervous breakdown in the mall today?
Funny Encouragement Ecard: Boxed Wine... ...when a bottle is just not big enough.
This. This is how I feel right now. But, the good news (or bad news) is that I am not alone in this. There are a bunch of parents out there and everyone has had a day where they thought..."What am I doing wrong?", "Why is my child crazy?", or even just "Help". We are not alone. Ever. Let's start getting real about our lives and encourage one another along the way. Remember...
As I always say, if you are thinking you are screwing this parenting thing up...you are probably not. Only a good mom would think to question herself. So, there you have it - if I said it, it must be true. Ahem. And, keep in mind that despite any mistakes you actually do make...God has this. Oh, and really, where is my box of wine?


Becky Dougherty said...

I want to slap that sales lady for you. I don't care what kind of store you work in, you can be sweet as pie to the kids, but you upsell the PARENTS. They're the ones paying for these things. You are totally right. If you hand a five year old something and tell her that it will look great, that child will think it is a gift. Sheesh. Technically, it's HER fault your child had a melt-down. Not yours. ;) Did you get the box of wine yet?? lol

Julie said...

Wow, that sales lady deserves to be smacked and she has no busienss working in a childrens store! Clearly she doesn't have kids of her own becuase I'm sure she would change her tune knowing what that would do to a munchkin!
You deserve 2 boxes of wine for this trip to the mall!