We're Missing Out

I am conflicted. See, I love technology. I do. I love it so much. It's brought us the internet. The portable, huge internet that most of us cannot live without. And that, my friends, is my conflict. I don't want to feel so... chained to technology. I don't think I'm alone in this. Am I? I hate that the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake up is whether I have a comment on that photo. Or, an email. Or, a like. What does that even mean? A like? It's not the internet's issue. It's mine. 

Why do I seek validation through a screen? 

I'll let that just sink in. 

We are walking around like little zombies missing our own lives. Our OWN LIVES people. I speak to myself. My cell phone is always in my pocket when not in my hands. It sits there crying for my attention. Notifications go off. Emails come in. The dang thing rings, occasionally. And texts! Oh, the texts. I've had more text conversations in a few days than real ones in the last month. It makes me shudder to think about. 

Am I saying I'm going to chuck my phone out the window? No! Though honestly I've had the urge to get rid of it. Am I saying that my computer, including this blog, is going away? Not even close. Obviously, this is part of the conflict. I want some of this technology to keep in touch with friends and family. I want to blog. I want to share photos. I want balance. I want to not have it be this tug on my heart. This need for "likes" and love.

Will I look back someday and think of all the texts I missed? No, probably not. These things are temporary. So very temporary. So is life. I don't want to live like this anymore. If I can call it living that is. I don't want to get to the end of my life, whenever God decides that is, and realize I have been missing out. I've been neglecting the people I love for the sake of self-indulgence.

And yes, I've been known to be hard on myself at times. But this is about more than that. Because it's true and it's time to make a change in my behaviors. The other day I was listening to my daughter play in the bathtub with some dolls. I wasn't really paying attention to her words until this...

"Let's ask Daddy. He will say yes. Mommy is on the computer and won't know."

Can I just tell you my heart broke into a million little pieces? I know, it's play. But...it's so much more than that. I never think I am paying more attention to media than my daughter but clearly I am. And, she is six and is picking up on that. 

It's time to take a hard look at our habits and take charge of them before it's too late. 

No comments